Hard Lesson – Two
No One Can Save You But You
No one – not even God – will force you to make the right choices in life. Praying for God or Jesus or Buddha to change you only sets you up for failure. Because such a course removes responsibility from there it belongs (on you) and places it on God.
“Well,” you say, “I asked God to change me, and he didn’t.”
If God made you stop drinking, or using drugs, or cheating on your spouse, then you wouldn’t be human.
You’d be an automaton. You would no longer have free will. What we can do, is ask Him for wisdom, for the discernment to see the harm we cause ourselves with our self-destructive actions.
Ultimately, change comes from within.
That’s why God gave us a brain, and common sense.
That’s why He gave us two eyes with which to see, and two ears with which to hear.
Using the eyes God gave us, we are able to see the destruction in our lives caused by addiction.
Using the ears God gave us, we can listen to the lessons life is trying to teach us.
And with this knowledge, we can then use the brain God gave us to conclude that a decision is called for. A decision to stop our self-destructive behavior.
Only you can make this decision. God cannot make it for you.
And know this too – that choosing not to decide is still a decision. If you’re an addict, and you choose not to decide to get clean and sober, it’s the same thing as choosing to be a slave.
Again, you can ask God for strength, or wisdom, or discernment. But ultimately, it’s your decision. And if you find yourself praying for the strength or wisdom to make a decision, that’s a pretty good indication you already know in your heart that a decision is called for.
So in reality, you don’t need strength.
Or wisdom.
You simply need to make up your mind to do what’s right.
In such a case, it’s not a problem of strength, or wisdom.
It is, rather, a problem of attachment.
How much strength does it require to let go?
The problem therefore, is not a lack of strength. The problem is indecisiveness.
Letting Go of the Past
As we walk along the path of life, steadfast in courage, strong in will, each and every mile we travel takes us further away from the pain of our past. But make no mistake. To get past the mountain of adversity, you must climb it—one foot in front of the other, and if necessary, one day before the next.
Yet every moment we linger, looking back in sorrow for what might have been or what could have been, is one more precious moment lost to the darkness. For just as time marches ever forward, so too must we live our lives—heart, mind, and soul—focused always on the future, on that glorious destination awaiting us all, if we do not falter and we do not fail. And by glorious I speak not of world-conquering generals, Super Bowl-winning quarterbacks, or preening rockstars basking in an illusory light of fame. Rather, I speak of the glory of the everyday man or woman, the commoners who, coming to the end of their journey, are able to die well, because they have lived well.
And though your eyes be ever on the destination, do not blind yourself to this day’s journey. Because it is our journey after all, which makes the destination so sweet. Each and every day of our journey, if we but open our eyes, we shall find a lesson. A lesson to treasure and to hold deep within our hearts, to help us along the way.
Some of these lessons may be pleasant. But more often than not, the best ones will be painful. Do not turn away. Know that with the pain will come sorrow. Touch it, feel it, embrace it if you must. But above all, learn from it. Then move on, just as life moves on.
And should a day come when you find yourself trapped in the pain, unable to learn the lessons that it’s trying to teach you, know this: That it is you and only you, who clings to it. Like an old friend you cannot bear to part with, you carry it upon your shoulders from one day to the next, weary and worn from the effort.
Leave it!
Lay it down!
Let go of it!
For if today you let go of the past—really let it go—then tomorrow you shall find that your pain is diminished. Then a week, or month, or year from now you will be that much further from it. But if and only if, you lay it down today.
And if you stay strong, if you persist and persevere, then one day you shall look back and thank God almighty for giving you the gift of your struggle. Because it is only when we struggle the most that we grow strongest. To our surprise, we shall find that in our weakness, we were made stronger. And in our foolishness, we were made wiser. For it is only when we ourselves have experienced weakness and foolishness—those all-too-human failings that we all partake of—that we are able to learn compassion and forgiveness for the weakness and foolishness in others.
For without forgiveness, there can be no love. And without love, there can be no forgiveness. Therefore, let the past be past, and remember this: It is love that endures. Even if man does not, our love endures. For though our lives are but a twinkling in the vastness of eternity, our love goes on forever.
Spencer Lane Adams
—
8/13/2018
Enough is Enough
Sit down, my son — please lend me your ear.
Lately, you’ve taken a wrong turn, I fear,
But I won’t criticize you or take you to task,
I only have one simple question to ask.
Have you had enough nightlife and glamour and thrills?
Have you had enough problems with paying your bills?
Have you had enough cocaine and whiskey and pills?
Have you had enough puking and headaches and chills?
Have you hurt enough loved ones — thrown away enough years?
Have you killed enough brain cells — or cried enough tears?
Have you had enough suffering or lost enough friends?
Have you felt enough pain now — is this where it ends?
Or would you like to keep smashing your head thru the wall?
Do you like it in prison — are you having a ball?
How ‘bout some cirrhosis, hepatitis, or AIDS?
A bloody old needle? Now, don’t be afraid!
Have you had enough black-outs and car wrecks and jail?
Have you had enough courtrooms and lawyers and bail?
I know what you’re thinking: “Dad, leave me alone!”
“I’m not a kid anymore — can’t you see that I’m grown?”
Well, forgive me, my son, if my love is too tough.
I just thought you should know that,
“Enough is enough!”
Spencer Lane Adams
—
05/29/2020
Thus Spoke the Lord
Do you love me, Father?
“I love you, my son.”
Then grant me my will.
“Free will, I give to thee.”
Thus spoke the Lord.
And it’s mine to use as I please?
“Why no,” replied my Father,
“Reproof, I will also give to thee.”
Reproof? I asked my Father,
Please explain that word to me,
“It’s a rod to guide your ways, my son,
“That you’ll more clearly see.”
A rod? I asked my father,
You’ve confused me once again.
“It is a punishment to lead you,
“Back to me again.”
Thus spoke the Lord.
Yet how shall I discern this rod?
Asked I unto the Lord.
“It is a pain that you shall feel,
but yet, in time, a pain that heals.”
Thus spoke the Lord.
Yet time and time again, I felt that pain
I heard His voice. And yet I took no heed,
Because I thought it was my choice.
“Listen closely,” said my Father,
As I now bowed down in sorrow.
“It is not pain I wish to give,
“But yet a lesson for tomorrow,
That you might yet still learn to live.”
“For when I granted you free will,
I did not wish for it to be,
That you would walk in darkness, son,
Or stray so far from me.
For I gave you will to freely choose,
And thus be truly free,
To choose what’s right, and shun the wrong,
And turn your heart to me.
Thus spoke the Lord.
My Lord spoke it unto me.
Spencer Lane Adams
Decision Point
There comes a point in every person’s life where the road you’ve been traveling comes to an end.
Or maybe the road continues on, but you realize the time has come for you to take a different road. A higher, better road. Where a new and brighter destination awaits.
Perhaps the path you have chosen has taken you as far as possible, or even led you backwards.
Maybe you’ve fallen into a ditch and can’t for the life of you climb out. Moving forward has become impossible.
The good news my friend, is you are not stuck.
To find release, you need only listen to your inner self. It whispers to you in the wind and in dreams, telling you: The chains that bind you are as dust compared to the power of your spirit!
One decision, backed by will and intention, is all that is required. You need only decide, and it shall be done.
Do not think that there is more to it than this. For in thinking it is so, you will make it so, and thus defeat yourself.
Search not for secret formulas or magic spells. Do not put your faith in esoteric or “occult mysteries”, step methods, or pop psychology.
If the milk is sour, throw it away. If the meat is rancid, toss it out.
You wish to change? Then decide to change. That is all.
And if it should come to pass that months later, you still have not changed, search no further for an explanation than this: You simply never truly decided to change in the first place.
“Oh, but I did! I did!” you say. Yet a moment’s honest reflection is all that is necessary to see that your so-called “decision” was half hearted at best.
Understand this – if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice: a choice to remain trapped in bondage, a voluntary servitude, so to speak.
And there, you shall remain, until such a time that you actually do decide. And remember this – that each and every day you put off that decision, you choose to remain in that rut, you choose (by default) death over life, darkness over light, and evil over good.
Because that which robs you of your free will is death. That which drags your spirit downward is darkness. And that which strips you of your dignity is darkness. This then, is what you choose every day.
All this and more is yours, and shall remain yours forever, for want of a simple decision.