Hard Lesson – Two
No One Can Save You But You
No one – not even God – will force you to make the right choices in life. Praying for God or Jesus or Buddha to change you only sets you up for failure. Because such a course removes responsibility from there it belongs (on you) and places it on God.
“Well,” you say, “I asked God to change me, and he didn’t.”
If God made you stop drinking, or using drugs, or cheating on your spouse, then you wouldn’t be human.
You’d be an automaton. You would no longer have free will. What we can do, is ask Him for wisdom, for the discernment to see the harm we cause ourselves with our self-destructive actions.
Ultimately, change comes from within.
That’s why God gave us a brain, and common sense.
That’s why He gave us two eyes with which to see, and two ears with which to hear.
Using the eyes God gave us, we are able to see the destruction in our lives caused by addiction.
Using the ears God gave us, we can listen to the lessons life is trying to teach us.
And with this knowledge, we can then use the brain God gave us to conclude that a decision is called for. A decision to stop our self-destructive behavior.
Only you can make this decision. God cannot make it for you.
And know this too – that choosing not to decide is still a decision. If you’re an addict, and you choose not to decide to get clean and sober, it’s the same thing as choosing to be a slave.
Again, you can ask God for strength, or wisdom, or discernment. But ultimately, it’s your decision. And if you find yourself praying for the strength or wisdom to make a decision, that’s a pretty good indication you already know in your heart that a decision is called for.
So in reality, you don’t need strength.
Or wisdom.
You simply need to make up your mind to do what’s right.
In such a case, it’s not a problem of strength, or wisdom.
It is, rather, a problem of attachment.
How much strength does it require to let go?
The problem therefore, is not a lack of strength. The problem is indecisiveness.
Peace On Earth
Imagine today is your last day on Earth.
You have twenty-four hours to live.
Twenty-four hours in which to prepare for your final journey. That journey from which no traveler ever returns. What will you do? How will you spend that final day?
If you”re like most people, your primary concern will be to die in peace. At peace with yourself, and at peace with your
Creator. To accomplish this task, maybe you’ll want to make some small gesture, bestow some gift, or perform some random act of grace or mercy in order to leave the world a better place than when you found it.
I once had a friend who declared that if allowed, he could at last bring about peace in the middle-east. Then I reminded him of his decades-long estrangement from his brother over a real-estate deal gone south. The amount of money in dispute over the deal was less than a thousand dollars.
Maybe twenty-four hours isn’t enough time to bring about world peace, or to otherwise change the world. But it’s plenty of time to change your world. Is there someone you need to reconcile with? Someone you need to forgive? A debt owed, but never paid, perhaps? Maybe you’re estranged from an old friend or family member and can’t even remember why.
The Bible says don’t let the sun go down on your anger.
So if there’s someone you need to reconcile with, someone you need to forgive, or obtain forgiveness from, then go and do it. Today. Do not wait a moment longer.
For to heal a broken relationship is to heal your very soul.
To bind up old wounds that even years later still divide, to reestablish a broken relationship that was once tender and loving, is one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves. One of the greatest words in the English language (or any other language, for that matter) is forgiveness.
For-give.
To give for.
But to give for what? That’s the question.
I’d venture a guess – to give for peace. Peace of mind. And peace of heart. For no one who harbors ill will in their hearts can be at peace.
It is true forgiveness requires great love, courage, and humility. Then there’s no guarantee the person you seek to reconcile with will either grant you forgiveness or accept your forgiveness. But surely the payoff in peace you’ll receive in return will make it worth the effort. And while most of us assume we have plenty of time left in our lives in which to accomplish such tasks, tomorrow is never guaranteed.
Let us not, therefore, continue to put off until tomorrow, a small act of grace that would make the world – your world – a better place today.
For those of us aspiring to change the world, there’s no better place to start than our own little corner of it.
Spencer Lane Adams
—
01/2022
Decision Point
There comes a point in every person’s life where the road you’ve been traveling comes to an end.
Or maybe the road continues on, but you realize the time has come for you to take a different road. A higher, better road. Where a new and brighter destination awaits.
Perhaps the path you have chosen has taken you as far as possible, or even led you backwards.
Maybe you’ve fallen into a ditch and can’t for the life of you climb out. Moving forward has become impossible.
The good news my friend, is you are not stuck.
To find release, you need only listen to your inner self. It whispers to you in the wind and in dreams, telling you: The chains that bind you are as dust compared to the power of your spirit!
One decision, backed by will and intention, is all that is required. You need only decide, and it shall be done.
Do not think that there is more to it than this. For in thinking it is so, you will make it so, and thus defeat yourself.
Search not for secret formulas or magic spells. Do not put your faith in esoteric or “occult mysteries”, step methods, or pop psychology.
If the milk is sour, throw it away. If the meat is rancid, toss it out.
You wish to change? Then decide to change. That is all.
And if it should come to pass that months later, you still have not changed, search no further for an explanation than this: You simply never truly decided to change in the first place.
“Oh, but I did! I did!” you say. Yet a moment’s honest reflection is all that is necessary to see that your so-called “decision” was half hearted at best.
Understand this – if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice: a choice to remain trapped in bondage, a voluntary servitude, so to speak.
And there, you shall remain, until such a time that you actually do decide. And remember this – that each and every day you put off that decision, you choose to remain in that rut, you choose (by default) death over life, darkness over light, and evil over good.
Because that which robs you of your free will is death. That which drags your spirit downward is darkness. And that which strips you of your dignity is darkness. This then, is what you choose every day.
All this and more is yours, and shall remain yours forever, for want of a simple decision.