Hard Lesson – Five
Maybe It's Good
Many times when something bad happens to us – getting fired from a job, getting denied entry from the university of your choice, a car breaking down, you name it – there is something is going on behind the scenes that we can’t see. And in the end, what we thought was bad, ends up being good.
The bible, in Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”
Once, a long time ago, there was a farmer who had a prize stallion – the fastest and most beautiful horse in the kingdom. One day the horse ran away.
The farmer’s neighbor, always eager to put in his two cents, said to the farmer when he heard the news, “You’ve lost your best horse! That’s terrible!”
The farmer barely seemed to notice. “Maybe it’s bad,” he said. “Maybe it’s good.”
Weeks later, the stallion returned of it’s own accord, running back into his own corral, and with him brought an entire heard of mares he’d gathered to himself while out in the wild.
When the neighbor saw the farmer’s apparent good fortune, he exclaimed, “My goodness, man! You’ll be the richest man in the kingdom with all those horses! That’s wonderful!”
“Maybe it’s good. Maybe it’s bad.” said the farmer.
A few weeks later, the farmer’s oldest son was breaking one of the new horses, when he was thrown, fracturing a leg in the process.
The neighbor came to console the farmer. “My, my, my!” he tutted. “You’ve lost your best hand now. That’s terrible!”
The farmer smiled. “Maybe it’s bad. Maybe it’s good.”
A week later, a war began with a neighboring kingdom. The king’s officials came through, conscripting the oldest male of every household. But when seeing the farmer’s son laid up with a broken leg, they passed on to the next household.
Since we never know what our future holds, we should always refrain from passing a negative judgement on something that happens to us, no matter how bad it may seem. To pass judgement on something we know nothing about shows a lack of critical thinking, not to mention such negative thinking often leads to anger and depression, both of which are bad for your health.
And there’s yet another reason not to prejudge something that happens to you as bad.
According to researchers at Cornell University, our minds find it easier to find evidence which confirms our judgements, rather than evidence that dis-confirms it, a phenomenon, called confirmation bias. So once we’ve judged a situation as bad, that conclusion will then cause us to perceive our life in a way that confirms our negative outlook.
The truth is, we never know what the future holds. The thing you dread now, that thing you must be dragged through, kicking and screaming, might just be the best thing that ever happened to you.
Over a year ago, I was denied compassionate release. The court’s denial meant that instead of getting immediate release from prison due to the Covid pandemic, I would have to serve the remaining four years of my sentence. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to go through.
Nothing good, I thought, could possibly come from such a situation. For months, I was inconsolable.
And then, lo and behold, as a direct result of getting my motion denied, I met the most wonderful woman in the world. That woman is now my wife. Had my motion been granted, I would have never met this woman. God truly works in mysterious ways.
We cannot know what He has in store for us.
But if we are patient, if we accept with gratitude and an open heart the things He has set before us, we will often find that in the end, what we thought was a painful loss, was in reality, a supreme gain.
Hard Lesson – One
Truth About Happiness
Many people – especially addicts and alcoholics – have somehow come to the misguided conclusion that we’re supposed to always be happy.
We always want to feel good. No matter what the circumstances. We’re always craving that next hit, that next drink, and next slice of chocolate cake.
For many it’s a constant struggle to perpetually feel good. We’re always on the lookout for the next new way to get high and feel good. As if feeling good were the end-all be-all of existence. We search in vain, high and low, for the secret to happiness.
But the secret to happiness begins with the knowledge that we weren’t put here just to be happy. We were not put on this earth merely to feel good. We were put here to learn, to grow, and to evolve.
And the funny thing – the miraculous thing – is that the more we learn, the more we grow and evolve, the more we find ourselves wanting to help others.
And the more we begin to help others, the more we find that, lo and behold, we ourselves are made happy in the process.
By putting others before self, through the path of service to others, we then find the true secret to happiness.